FauxHawk… the next endangered species

After several weeks of no sightings, the FauxHawk is back in all his hair gelled glory. Maybe it was the sun, or just my bad luck but the past few weeks when he had come in a baseball cap.  I wondered if the potential was still there, lying latent somewhere under the fabric.  Day after day, however, my hopes were dashed.  Until last week.  Not only was the FauxHawk back in action, it was bigger and better than ever.

Not let me interject here that FauxHawk is no Books-on-CD guy.  In fact, he is the polar opposite of Books-on-CD guy.  He is rugged looking with tattoos up and down his arms, ripped jeans, band shirts, and of course the coveted hair.  But FauxHawk is always polite and that stern face that never cracks a smile seems to hold all sorts of intrigue.

And so, the FauxHawk has not become extinct, it is here today flying high, exploring its unfettered freedom.

Beware the Breeders

Yesterday, BossMan went on a very humorous tirade about the heterosexual people in our midst whom who continuously referred to as “breeders.”

Never a dull moment…

This little piggy went to market, this one got ate up by fish…

I definitely like to be pampered and will indulge in a pedicure on occasion. However, it seems that a new treatment for those little piggies is all the rage and it’s not for the feint of heart.

I’m totally game…

Vacation to crazy

Never fear, dear readers, I have returned. After an all too brief solstice I am back to the real world and back to the blog.

It took years, and yes literally years, of coercion but I finally let Sugar Daddy talk me into a trip south. Looking back I’m actually a little surprised I waited this long. But as you may recall, S.D. and I have no ordinary Sugar Daddy/Sugar Baby relationship. And so, I did what any girl would do in this situation, I grabbed a friend, packed my bags, and boarded the plane.

Let me tell you, it was absolutely grand. S.D.’s condo that he always bragged about would only make me roll my eyes. His big shot job and all his connections would elicit a mere nose in the air. Well, ladies and gentlemen, let me just say that home-girl should have been listening instead of acting like snot. The view, the waves, the atmosphere… I could have stayed forever.

I am not surprised that I miss vacation and all that it entailed. What I am surprised to report is how much I miss S.D. What the heck is up with that? I have kept S.D. at bay for years, with absolutely no desire to change the lack of relationship that we had mastered. Is my impending birthday making my biological clock tick a bit more loudly? Was it the salty sea air? Have I just been single too long? Or have I just simply gone crazy?

I have read the required reading for all single females in the 21st century, and therefore, I’ll resist the need to call, text, instant message, email, or otherwise contact incessantly. I will continue to act like the detached, cool chick that S.D. fell for all those years ago. Because, if I have learned nothing else ladies, it is this: men always want what they can’t have. They’re like 4 year olds. Keep those toys one shelf too high and it’s all they’ll be able to talk about, look at it, and wish for. So let’s just see if I can stay on the top shelf.

Afternoon Antics

After two story times with far too many rambunctious children, I declared that my afternoon would not be productive (big surprise there). So, I turned to looking up our creepy patrons on myspace. My search was not as fruitful as I had hoped, though it did lead to a discussion with Conan on which patrons we would like to “shoot through a canon”.

All in all, it’s a good afternoon, counting down the last hour and a half.

Ah and by the way… Andy is attempting to grow a beard, or something like that.  The result is him looking horribly grungy and more surly than ever.

Who needs solar power?

Behold the newest technology… Boob Power

Why did no one think of this sooner?

Malodorous Melodrama

Today the library is smelly.  Just plain smelly.  Like people smelly.  Like I rolled out of bed, put on the clothes I wore for the past three days, ran around the block in 100% humidity, and then waltzed into the library in all my body odor glory smelly.

I understand the economy is bad, and that we don’t necessarily have the cream of the crop rolling into the public library at 3:00 in the afternoon on a weekday, but come on.  Is good hygiene too much to ask for?  Maybe air fresheners need to be added to the list of office supplies that we order on a regular basis.

I have a feeling it’s going to be a long, smelly summer.

Welcome to the gun show

So Books-on-CD Man has been in not once, but twice this week (and its only Wednesday).  And of course, I manage to be on the desk each time he comes in, in full stalker mode.  I really don’t do it on purpose, but I’m sure it doesn’t seem as innocent as it really is.

Anyway, it is summer, and the temperatures are climbing, which seems to be prompting the object of my affection to alter his usual blue-collar outfit slightly.  And the change, let me tell you, has not gone unnoticed.  Cut off sleeves isn’t usually a fashion statement I would encourage anyone to make, however, in this case, the man is pulling it off in splendid form.

God bless America, land of the free, and the right to bare arms